Some people push themselves to the limit via extreme sports. I, however, believe that an African border crossing is the truest test of a person's endurance. Because if rampant ineptitude, jostling crowds, and incomprehensible forms don't make you snap, nothing will.
I got another taste of this process as we left Mozambique and entered Malawi last week. While waiting in line, I noticed a piece of paper taped to the wall. It highlighted names of countries whose inhabitants do not receive free passage into Malawi. The lengthy list included a random assortment of places and I couldn't figure out why citizens of certain countries were required to pay $70, while others skated in for free. I also found it strange that US citizens were comped, yet Hawaii residents were placed on the "Fork Over $70!" sheet. Apparently, their 50th state status doesn't hold much weight with the Malawi government.
No matter. Two hours later, we checked into The Sanctuary in Lilongwe and the prior week's head cold, the-wonderful-world-of-maize-and-tobacco tour, and icky lodgings were trumped by a beautiful chalet, sweet-faced monkeys scampering through trees, and a yummy assortment of vegetarian dishes in the restaurant.
Unbelievably, the ante was upped by our weekend stay at Club Makokola on Lake Malawi - breathtaking (the photos were taken there)! While perusing the poolside cocktail menu, I noticed that almost every beverage included an ingredient called Orange Squash. I assumed that it was some sort of third-world cola combination reminiscent of Orange Crush and Squirt. But, no, there is truly a carbonated drink made out of...squash.
Please don't pressure me into bringing you back a bottle, as I will have a limited amount of luggage space when I return. And I'm not sure I'll be able to keep my gag reflex in check during transit.
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